Hi Addison!I really enjoyed reading your storybook project introduction about a mythological dog park. I love a good dog story and I loved how you tied it to Greek mythology. I loved your idea of putting puppy spirits in this mythological dog park afterlife deal. I am intrigued to read about what dogs do after they pass on. I always thought dogs go to heaven, but a dog park seems much more fun haha! I would suggest that you go back through your introduction and really focus in on grammar. Quite a few of your sentences were run-ons, making it a bit tricky to understand your thoughts. Also, maybe find a comma helper to help you understand where to properly put commas. I did the same a few weeks back and it helped so much! Finally, I was wondering what your third dog story was going to be about. I know one is about Egyptian canines and the second is about Xolotl of ancient Aztec, but what is the third? I am intrigued to find out! I wasn’t sure if you left it out on purpose to entice your readers, or that is something you forget to include. Overall, great job and I look forward to seeing your stories unfold!
Hi Addison!I already love your concept of a mythological dog park; as a dual-dog owner myself, I love anything and everything related to dogs. I also love that you included a picture of your own dogs on the home page- it shows how you're already passionate and connected to the topic you're writing about. I feel like this storybook can be relatable to all pet owners, not just dog owners. I think everyone is heartbroken whenever they lose a beloved family pet, and they always hope that their pet is in a better place, and what they're doing without them. I'm excited to hear about your stories of the humanoid-canine divinities as the semester continues. I know in Egyptian Mythology, they have a dog named Anubis that they commonly worship, but I am unaware if any others exist out there. I'm hoping that I'll get to hear more about these different gods as this storybook takes place!
Hey Addison, I really enjoyed reading the introduction to your storybook! I really like where you are going, with your idea of a mythological dog park. I have a golden doodle and a dachshund, so I’d be curious to see how they acted in this type of setting! I feel like this will be a really fun topic to write about, plus it will allow you to be very creative. I really enjoyed the sentence in your introduction where you tell the reader to sit back, relax, grab a ball, and some milk bones. I think that was very creative, and creativeness like that makes people really enjoy reading. I know everyone likes well-behaved dogs, but I’m interested to read about the not so well-behaved dogs in you’re future stories. I think sometimes the dogs that test your nerves are often the most lovable sometimes. You did a good job on this!
Hey, Addison!Oh my gosh I love your topic! I have seen a lot of stories and sites (including my own) based on a lot of old-timey myths and often reiterated themes, but yours is so unique and amazing! I think it's an amazing topic especially because who isn't a dog person?? I really like your idea of storytelling just based on the overall theme, and I am kind of jealous myself that I did not choose something of the sort; I just kind of thought of the first topic that related to my stories and pasted it, but it is very clear that you have put a lot of thought into yours and into making it so, so much personable! I think it shows off your personality a lot more, and that is exactly what I think the concept of this type of storytelling was trying to do. Great job!
Hi Addison, I am so excited about your storybook! Dogs are the best and animals are so often overlooked. Immediately I was drawn in to your storybook from the images you chose, they are fun and my favorite was the gray with the white silhouettes of the dogs and the moon. It works perfectly for the introduction. A suggestion I have is something that I found a little confusing, there is more mentioned about the Norse mythology after life. So I wasn't sure if all of the stories were drawn from there until I got to the end where you brought up the other possibilities as well. Maybe no one else had trouble but it might be interesting to tell where the dog stories come from earlier in the introduction. There is so much personality in this storybook already and it is so much fun. I love the play on tails and the instructions to the reader. Dogs or animals in general can have so much meaning for people so this is a great topic.
Hi Addison! I think it is so sweet and precious that you are using images of your dogs to represent other dogs in mythology. Your introduction is very well worded, and keeps the reader interesting and engaged about what is to come on your storybook. I like how you have the shells for your stories laid out, but it almost let me down that you did not have your stories on the website yet because I am so excited to read them. I like how you are going to write about dogs from different mythological backgrounds - I am excited and curious to see how you ties those together to make it flow! Do you know which stories you are going to write about yet? I had never thought about utilizing animals, particularly dogs, to retell these famous myths and legends. Best of luck going forward, you definitely started out strong!
Hey Addison, I want to say right off the bat that your storybook idea is incredibly cute! I know that throughout mythology that animals can have important roles for the main characters, but I like that you're focusing on the animals, dogs in this case, as the owners of their own story! That said, I only found two things that could be fixed and possibly added into your introduction. First, I saw you've been using "Afterlife" throughout, and just wanted to say that one of your sentences you use "after life". I'm sure you just overlooked it, but it's there! Finally, maybe you can say who the dog's owners are? Like, for example, this particular dog you're talking about is the companion of Hercules or something. Of course, you don't have to! I'm just curious if there's specific people that you wanted to be owner's of these dogs! Other then that though, your introduction was cute and I'm excited to see the stories when they're up!
Hi Addison:I really enjoy reading your introduction to the storybook! I agree with you that most of the myths wrote about the gods, monsters, or heroes, and I feel excited for you could choose a novel topic. I am curious about why you decided to use dogs as your main characters. Do you love dogs or you just choose them as your topic randomly? Also, you mentioned the Afterlife in your introduction. It is a nice try to put some mythological factors into your storybook. I think the word Afterlife is always related to mysterious or untouchable situations. Can't wait for the following stories!There is one problem I think you need to ameliorate. In your introduction page, the fonts' background may make readers hard to recognize them, and the font size would also be enlarged a little bit.
Hi Addison!First of all, I love that you're doing a storybook about mythological dogs! I was actually thinking of doing a storybook focused on dogs of the afterlife earlier in the semester, focusing in on ones from the areas around the UK. (I was intending to cover the "Black Dog", "Church Grim" and "Barghest" in mine) I ended up choosing to do a portfolio instead, but it's cool to see someone else giving the mythological dogs some love!My other feedback is really just all cosmetic stuff.Since you have very little text on your home page, you might put it on top of the image, or resize the image so that you don't have to scroll to see that little bit of text.You should probably hide your pages for Stories 1-3 from your navigation until they have text on them. (You can right click them in your site editor to get the window to hide or unhide them)
Hey Addison, You had me at “dogs,” ha ha! I do love that you chose to do a Storybook with stories about dogs because we often don’t get to hear or read stories about them. In this class, I’ve read stories about other animals; I’ve read a couple with cats included, but not dogs! Your introduction is very engaging and sets up the rest of your Storybook nicely. I did notice in the second paragraph that you forgot to put a “space” after the period… “Well, I have the answer.You’ve heard that…” Also, I love the idea of having the picture as the background, but it can be difficult to see the text in some areas. Maybe you could try making the font bigger or if there is a way to add text background and adjust the opacity so that the picture can still be seen? I’m excited to see what kind of dog stories you will tell!
Hi Addison!I'm definitely going to bookmark your storybook for future comments! I am a huge dog lover. When my first dog, Oreo, died I always wondered where his spirit would go. I always thought back to the movie, "All Dogs go to Heaven". I loved that you used that in your introduction. I love the idea of all dogs in a doggy play ground. It's also interesting how you pointed out that not all dogs are good. So it would be cool to see how you create conflict between all the dogs in the future! I like how you also questioned what dogs do when their owners are away. It made me think back to Phineas and Ferb with Perry. That show always made me wonder if my dogs were secret agents haha. I can't wait to see what kind of stories you come up with. I haven't read any greek mythology stories over dogs so that would be an additional learning experience for me too! Overall, you have a super enganging introduction so good job with that!
Hi Addison!I won't lie, I'm already obsessed with your storybook after reading the introduction. I saw 'dogs' and knew I had to read it. I like how it speaks directly to the reader when asking questions in the introduction, it makes it very personable and more enticing for the reader. I wonder if all dogs go to the dog park of the afterlife after death, or if some of them stay on earth? Will these be real stories told just with dogs to replace the character? Have you thought about letting each dog narrate their own story with dialogue instead of just one narrator? That might be fun to hear it from each dog's perspective so that we are more connected to the story and can feel their personality. I cant wait to keep reading this and I already love it! Good work!
Hi Addison!After reading your introduction I am so excited to see what your stories will be like. Dogs are one of my favorite animals, and I love reading stories about them! Your ideas are so creative. I have always wondered if dogs go to heaven or an afterlife. I would like to believe so, because I have a few dogs in heaven that I would love to reunite with. The dog park idea is so cool and so different from any of the stories I have read so far. A lot of the stories are about humans, so I am interested to see how you will tie together mythology and dogs! At the end, I loved how you foreshadowed which type of dogs your stories would be about, but I only saw two. I see that you have three stories set up, so adding a third type of dog would be great!
Hi Addison! This concept is so cute, and you're totally right, no one ever writes about the pups of mythology! I also loved that it's going to be based off your own dogs, it adds a personal touch to your story book! I'm also curious to what your writings will entail. Your introduction was awesome, it set up the stage for the rest of the stories really well, but I also still don't really know what to expect. The perfect balance of keeping readers in anticipation! Are the stories going to be about what the dogs did in their life that resulted in them being sent to the dog park of the afterlife? All of the stories of mythology center around heroics, love, and tragedy, so will there be a similar theme among these stories? I can't wait to see what you come up with, I'll definitely be back for this!
Hi Addison,I am in LOVE with your homepage of your storybook. I absolutely love dogs and that header picture brings a smile to my heart! Thank you for that!Also, thank you for having a brief introductory statement on your homepage. I feel like most people neglect to do that so it is hard to follow their theme for their storybook. Or, I can't even differentiate if it is a storybook or a portfolio. So, thank you!After clicking on the introduction, the banner of Archie and Olive snuggling really melted my heart. I cannot get over all of the cuteness!I love "All Dogs Go To Heaven" so I am super excited to read your stories about the afterlife for dogs! I also appreciate how you are not only talking about good dogs, but also the bad ones. Finally, your overall tone and style crack me up! I love it all so much. I can't wait to read more of your amazing work this semester!-Libby
Hi Addison, I love the theme of your Storybook! Anything dogs and I am interested. I also enjoy that you are using personal images of your own pups. Is this storybook going to be a play on Greek mythology? I saw that you mentioned the story of All Dogs Go to Heaven, is that where you got the idea to intertwin these stories? The questions you ask in the first paragraph are ones that all dog owners and most people in general think about. I am very interested in the ways you plan to pull together all these stories and make them flow together. I also know that it is going to be juicy due to the way you mention that not all the boys are the goodest and that some are definitely going to stir up some trouble. I look forward to seeing what this storybook is like in a few weeks!
Hi Addison :)I really like your Storybook idea! I like the focus on the dogs, especially the ones of heroes because it's true. There isn't a lot of them after their story purpose is served. I've always wondered what happened to them!Reading your Introduction, I felt the excitement and mystery of you "Dog Park of the Afterlife." I can't wait to read the stories you come up with; you've made me very curious!The only tweaking I recommend to your awesome Introduction is sentence structure and topic consistency.I noticed you have a lot of long sentences with most having a dependent clause at the beginning or end of your sentences joined by a comma. Don't be afraid to have simpler or shorter sentences! They'll do wonders for reading flow and keeping your audience engaged.In your Introduction, you mention dogs from Norse, Greek, and Aztec mythology. In the last paragraph, you swap out the Norse mythology for true stories about Egyptian dogs. It looks like you're only planning on writing three stories but have four different "topics." I recommend keeping the preview of your stories to the scope of what you're going to be writing about only. I say this because if you write about Norse, Greek, and Egyptian dogs, then you might have readers disappointed there weren't dogs from Aztec mythology.The last one is definitely just my opinion. However, I do really stand by my critique on sentence structure.Don't let any of my suggestions distract you from the single facts that your Introduction is awesome and your idea is wonderful!
Hi Addison!First of all, yours was the project I picked from the whole class list this week, just because of the name! I LOVE dogs, so I was really intrigued by your title and wanted to learn more. It's so awesome that you spun this to base it off of your own pups, and added the picture of your own dogs! I don't know if this is a glitch or you haven't had the chance to write any stories yet, but the links for "Story 1, 2 and 3" were all blank links. If they are not filled yet, I will for sure have to come back to your site later in the semester to read more about your pups and see how you link it back to the mythology we are learning about!
Hey Addison! Can I just say that I love your concept for your storybook? I think that using your own personal touch of your dogs is such a cute and unique tactic to making the storybook stand out, and it definitely works! This isn't something a lot of people do, so I really enjoy you adding some variety. I loved seeing the picture of your dogs on the front page, they were just so stinking cute. Along with this, your introduction was really good along with really adorable. I like how you used the saying "all dogs go to heaven" as part of your inspiration for the stories to come. I am eager to read what stories you have coming for us; the blank screens on "Story 1," "Story 2," and "Story 3" were such a cliffhanger! Hope you enjoy writing the stories to fill this storybook as I know that I will thoroughly enjoy reading them!
Hi Addison, I really enjoyed reading through your storybook! I think it is really cool you are writing about your own pets. I think this will give your stories a whole other element. You can really add details and connect the readers to make them feel like they are there. As far as your page I think it is really cool. All the images tie into your theme. I look forward to seeing more so far it is awesome.
Hi Addison,It was an immense pleasure to go over your storybook introduction. It's very cool to write about your own dogs and tie them to mythology, and that detail will take your stories to another level. I am eager to read your story 1. I also like the picture of your dogs in the home page they look very cute and comfortable in bed. Additionally, the layout of the website made it easy to navigate through your story book. But I would recommend on working on sentence structure because you have very long sentences on your introduction. I feel like if you made you sentences simpler; the reading will flow much smoother. I think that your introduction went straight to the point and it was not very long, and I like that. I am curious how you will incorporate mythology with pets, because most of mythology I have read has to do with love, god and goddesses. Will dogs be gods and goddesses?
Hi Addison! This is an interesting topic. I do not think that I have ever truly sat down and thought about their companions but almost all of them have one. They are there to bail them out of trouble and sometimes cause a little more. I think that it was cute to portray it as an audience of dogs. These pups are going to be excited to sit and eat their treats while reading it. I think that you could add slightly more detail. Are all of the stories about this one dog or are there multiple that interact with this dog? What makes him/her the most important character to tell a story about? These animals are found all throughout mythology and I like that you cover that. Maybe explain how the good boys are just not as much fun to talk about or how it will be more fun to talk about this one.